Unpublished Opinion

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Working at home

I had planned to get up early this morning to finish a reply brief I have been working on before heading out to the suburbs for the continuation of what seems to the never-ending big move. But instead of working, I am surfing the web, making hotel reservations for events seven months away, and, of course, writing this.
I have found it more and more difficult to work at home lately. When I first started my job, I was so eager, I would bring work home almost every night. And certainly on the weekends I would be at my computer typing away. But yet, now I sit here with no desire to even bring the file out of my bag. Perhaps I have a better handle on things now and don't need to spend time at home typing away, trying to be perfect, to create that perfect brief. Maybe because now I realize there is no such thing. Or that no matter how well I write, there is a 90% chance I will lose anyway because my clients have all the cards stacked against them: poor, minority, convicted.
I have become increasingly frustrated and I have peaks and valleys of feelings of confidence and incompetence. Maybe the reason that the SA's have such egos is that they win so much and convince themselves that their victories are some how the result of their hard work or intelligence, when the reality is that they could write their briefs at a third grade level and they would still win.
A problem with no solution that will, no doubt, continue to plague me the rest of my career. I guess I should get to work...or I could see what's on TV...


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